compound ignorance with inaudibility?

When exactly have i turned into ice?

I feel so ashamed. Not being able to render any intervention for my Mom’s frozen left shoulder. Or for a more Orthopedic term, Adhesive Capsulitis. A condition that causes a restriction of motion in the shoulder joint particularly the joint capsule.

My mom, as mobile as she is at home, can’t live a single day without jogging, gardening, cooking and cleaning! Trust my word on the last one! But for the past 2 days, she had been complaining of shoulder pains and limited ROM. (Range of Motion)

She is probably at the first stage of the conditon, the Painful/Freezing Stage since she is hurting to the point of shedding tears. Knowing her, she is in grave pain. (Okay, kill me now for not being more caring.)
The second stage is the Frozen Stage itself where the stiffness worsens. And lastly, the Thawing Stage.

Efforts to distract myself from this guilt I’m feeling is futile.

Oh yes. The LOVE day is a few hours from now. I wonder how much money Dangua earned this month.

For many, follow my advice and stay at home than be a victim of the multiple earthquakes we will experience tomorrow. Its epicenters are around Metro and Mega Manila. Beware.

I’m still breathing! Trying to revive my blog drive and add more nonsense here!

I hope its not too late to greet and wish you a Better You for 2009! Hope everyone makes the best of the year. And tho it isnt wise to make a resolution when the year ends/starts, in case you did, i wish you well.

how many dolphins can you see?
got all 9 of ‘em.

if you cant, what a corrupted mind you have there.

Times have changed.

In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family’s head, he was a success.

Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and four-car garage. And that’s just the vacation home.

In 1900, a father waited for the doctor to tell him when the baby arrived.

Today, a father must wear a smock, know how to breathe, and make sure film is in the video camera.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons.

Today, kids wouldn’t touch Dad’s clothes a mile away.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business.

Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the DVD player.

In 1900, fathers shook their children gently and whispered, “Wake up, it’s time for school.”

Today, kids shake their fathers violently at 4 a.m., shouting: “Wake up, it’s time for soccer practice.”

In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.

Today, a father comes home to a note: “Jimmy’s at baseball, Cindy’s at gymnastics, I’m at gym, Pizza in fridge.”

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.

Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons’ ears and shout, “WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE..”

In 1900, a father gave a pencil box for Christmas, and the kid was all smiles.

Today, a father spends P5,000 at a toy Store, and the kid screams: “I wanted PlayStation 3!”

Things have changed. So what do we do?

Give the kids everything they want? You know the answer. No Way!

This is a better idea. Teach them the value of growth and learning.

And how do we do that? By growing a little everyday ourselves.

Not long before Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s death at age 75, someone asked him how he continued to write so beautifully and remain so vigorous. Longfellow pointed to an apple tree that was full of colorful bloom and said …

“That is a very old apple tree, but the blossoms this year seem more beautiful than ever before. That old tree grows a little new wood each year. And I suppose that it is out of the new wood that these blossoms come. Like the apple tree, I try to grow a little new wood each year.”

Our children watch us and then they imitate us.

If they see us reading books, then this gives them better incentives to do the same. But if the kids see us spacing out in front of the boob tube, do you still wonder why they’re glued to their screens too?

We need to grow a little new wood each year.

So how do we grow?

You start first with getting out of your comfort zone. Learn something new.

Develop a new skill, learn a second language, brush up on your computer literacy or get into a new sport. Embrace the challenge.

Be ready to fail because that is the entry point to success. Constantly have this thought fixed in your mind: “When you’re green you’re growing but when you’re ripe you’re rotting.”

The owner of a green house had a gardener who was careful, methodical and a hard worker. But, in spite of his diligence, the plants did not prosper under his care. The owner then hired a more experienced gardener and soon the plants began to thrive. The unsuccessful gardener explained what had happened…

“When I transplanted the flowers I removed them carefully from their pots.

I disturbed them as little as possible. This new man didn’t treat them that way. He was rough with them. He didn’t mind disturbing their roots. I thought he would ruin the plants because of his heavy-handedness, but they are growing.”

He then went on to explain that the roots of the plants in the pots were packed tight. The successful gardener, by his apparent roughness, had loosened the soil and given the roots a chance to breathe, and stretch and grow stronger. In shaking them up, he actually made growing easier for them.

Are there not times when we need a little shaking up in order to stretch our mental, physical and even our spiritual roots and grow stronger in the faith?

Paul, the major contributor in the New Testament says: “For it is when I am weak that I am strong,” and so just like him, we need to look at our apparent failures as experiences in growth.

Failing doesn’t have to mean you’ve accomplished nothing. It can mean you can learn something.

Failing doesn’t have to mean you are disgraced. It can mean you were willing to try.

Failing doesn’t have to mean you don’t have what it takes. It can mean you have to do something in a different way.

Failing doesn’t have to mean you’ve wasted your life. It can mean you have a reason to start afresh.

Failing doesn’t have to mean you are inferior. It does mean that you, like everyone else, are not perfect. And that’s all right. By not being perfect you are acknowledging your membership in the human family.

So don’t be afraid.

Grow a little new wood every day.

- An article by Francis J. Kong.

went to see tita B today.
i thought it went – handled it well.
talking to Y was the highlight.
altho i was not given the chance
to hug her.

when i got home,
i realized, im not okay.

nakakainis.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. *apir*

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else’s man. If he cheated with her, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the ending…compromise is a two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships. ..there is nothing cute about baggage… Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you… a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. .. look for someone complimentary. ..not supplementary. *missssmo!*

Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes… when a man always know where you are and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man.

Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.

Saudade (singular) or Saudades (plural) (pronounced [sawˈdade] in Galician, pronounced [sawˈdadɨ] in European Portuguese and [sawˈdadʒi] or [sawˈdadi] in Brazilian Portuguese) is a Galician and Portuguese word for a feeling of nostalgic longing for something or someone that one was fond of and which is lost. It often carries a fatalist tone and a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might really never return. – wiki.

ANG GAMOT SA NAGDURUGONG PUSO…..
I really don’t know how did I come up with this… eh una sa lahat wala naman ako prob sa lablayp…. pero wala lang… kahit sabihin kong masaya ako… parang di pa rin ako mapalagay na nakikita at naririnig na sa mundong ito, may mga nasasaktan pa rin… at ang masakit pa nun… ang iba dun ang mga kaibigan ko. I’ve been hurt so many times na in my life na, minsan pa nga.. mismong kakain ako ng big mac eh tetext ako ng gf ko na pagalit.. ayun… sira na na naman ang araw ko.. naalala ko pa nung highschool ko.. naku, ang babae para sakin ay parang ginto, hindi lang dahil sa special sila but because ang hirap talaga nila hanapin! Nahanap mo nga… wala naman gusto sayo, ang masama pa nun, paminsan eh mapagtitripan ka lang.. kunwari crush din, flirt ka pa, sa huli… pagtatawanan ka lang nila.. masakit ba? Oo masakit yun.. nangyari na rin sa akin maraming beses na yun eh.. pakshet.. naalala ko pa nun, my heart was soft and innocent back then, umibig ako sa isang babaeng waring langit kumpara sa aking lupa lamang. Maganda siya, as in. pero ang ugali…. oks lang, nung panahon na yun naman sa sobrang desperado ko na magka gf eh kahit ano na lang basta babae e puede na. Ayun, sinaktan nya ako.. pinaasa.. kunwari pa gusto ako kausap sa phone yun pala tiniis lang ako… ang sama nya. Pero kundi dahil sa kanya, cguro di ako matututong kumausap ng girls ngayon.
Ung mga iba ko namang kaibigan, mas matindi pa ang storya…. pinagpalit daw sila sa iba… kunwari sila ang liligawan, pero yung nag lakad pa sa kanila ang siyang nakatuluyan ng lalaki…. hanubayun! Whatta sawi moment na maituturing…. pero I made her realize na love is unfair talaga.. lalo na pag ikaw ang nadehado. parang naging survival of the fittest na nga ang nangyayari ngayon sa pag ibig eh… ung tipong pag maganda ka, gwapo ang makakatuluyan mo, at kapag pangit ka, laking tsamba lang pag may hitsura pa ang napili mo. Eh ako naman di ganun kagwapuhan, di rin cute, minsan lang masabihan na may hitsura, eh di rin pinaligtas ng pag ibig.. haay… puro peklat na tlga tong puso ko…. dahil na rin cguro sa mga sugat noon. Ilang taon din akong nagtiis na walang minahal…..or should I say walang nagmamahal sakin. Those were the worst period of my life. Yung tipong mahal ko lang ang sarili ko dahil no choice eh.. wala naman nagmamahal sakin, wala nga nagkakagusto sa’kin.. san pa ako?
But as they always say…. In every cloud, there’s a silver lining. Oo tama, dahil sa mga panahong hirap ako sa labylayp.. natutunan ko na rin ang mag survive sa hirap at sakit na dulot ng pag ibig. Nandyan ung aliwin ang sarili sa barkada, pagbabad sa bilyaran o sa computer, pag aliw sa sarili ng ilang oras sa chat… o kaya’y ubusin ng husto ang laman ng ref mo, at sa mga babae naman, eh mag pa parlor, punta sa bahay ng bespren… lahat na para lang makalimutan ang mapait na nakaraan. So ano nga ba talaga ang mga gamot sa nagdurugong puso?

IT IS NOT WHAT YOU DO THAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE, BUT ON HOW YOU THINK. Kahit libutin mo na ang buong Luzon para kalimutan siya, kung hindi pa rin magbabago ang mindset mo about love.. Sorry dude. WA EPEK… as in wala.. blanko… void…. null… empty set… zero percent… kapos… mintis… airball…. eh bakit? Material pleasures can’t compensate the pain that your heart received….. and pag ang heart eh nasaktan.. apektado na rin malamang ang utak.. coz they are in mutual status… masaktan ang isa…. masasaktan na rin ang kabila. Try changing your mindset….. kung baga sa computer e kung panay palpak ang ginagawa ng hardware mo, at nagtataka ka kung bakit nakailang palit ka na eh sa karton pa rin ang ending nya, eh baka sa software na mismo ang problema, diba? Kung na basted ka ng babaeng mahal mo….. drinking every night and bar hopping won’t do you good, tsaka gastos lang yan. Lying in your bed the whole night and roll there like a lumpia won’t help yah ease the pain. Kung ikaw ay kasama sa isang church org eh lam mo na kaagad ang unang gagawin…. PRAY. Kahit gaano ka pa ka demonyo eh sa simbahan pa rin ang tuloy mo dude. Totoo yun. Find a time alone na pupunta ka one day sa church, kausapin mo si Lord na parang kabarkada mo lang cya.. Talk to him as if kausap mo ang pinaka close na tao sa buhay mo… You know what, Lord God can touch the hardest hearts and the vainest minds. He did that to me and I’m sure magagawa din nya sa inyo yun. Sa mga iniwanan ng kanilang bf/gf eh wag na wag kayo manonood ng mga movies na may IWANAN na tema.. Its like jumping into a quicksand… lalo nyo lang nilubog ang sarili nyo.. sa mga nagsesenti naman… o cge oks lang yan… kasi ako rin ganun e.. d ba nga ang music is the choir of your heart? kahit ga BALDE na ang luha mo kaiiyak sa tune ng One last Cry ni Brian mcKnight eh oks lang un… kahit in reality hindi.
Try straightening your goals, point of view, or belief. Ano ba tlga ang gusto mo mangyari sa buhay mo? Sa lablayp mo? Siya ba talaga ang mahal mo? Kung siya talaga at di ka nya mahal, is it necessary ba talaga na dapat maging kayo para sumaya ka? Unconditional ba talaga ang love mo for him? Eh bakit naghahanap ka ng kapalit na pagmamahal? Bakit ka nasasaktan pag nalaman mong di ka pala mahal? Ano ba tlga ang definition mo ng loving someone? Bukal ba sa loob mo na masaya ka for her kahit hindi ikaw ang reason ng kanyang happiness? May umiibig bang hindi nabibigo? Pwede ka bang magmahal na hindi nasasaktan? Anong gusto mo, magmahal na masaktan, o hindi mahalin? You see, asking yourself these questions might straighten those curly love lashes of yours. Don’t think of your inferiority, yung tipong kesyo pangit ka, may pimples ka, kulang ka sa height, kulang sa pera…. Kasi if the girl or guy dumped you dahil lang sa kakulangan mo sa pisikal na bagay, eh hindi tlga siya deserving na mahalin.. pramis. Ibang tao lang talaga ang bagay para sa kanila. Ikaw ba ung tipong tao na nakikita ang love in a black and white scale? Well…its now the right moment to realize na ang love have gray spots in it.. na hindi lahat ng tama ay tama at di lahat ng mali ay mali. Being not open to these gray spots would spell disaster sa inyong “Getting over” na stage… ano ba talaga tong gray spots na to? Yung tipong persons tend to fall out of love… hindi sa nagsasawa pero bigla na lang nila nalalaman na hindi na pala nila mahal ung gf/bf nila.. there’s nothing really wrong about it ( sa isang side).. kasi ganun talaga… di naman din nya sinadya na mahalin ka eh.. eh malamang di rin nya sadya ang mawala ang love nya… tamang isipin natin na love is a feeling… but it is not a decision… the decision part comes only when it concerns MAINTAINING the love… so as long as there’s a feeling of love.. may decision kang i-maintain un…. but yun nga.. WHAT’S THE POINT OF MAINTAINING SOMETHING NA WALA NA TALAGA? Eh kung wala nang love… eh wala na talaga. Kung tumagal man kayo, baka awa na lang ang nararamdaman niya to you. That’s why it is important na ma clarify mo ang sarili mo sa mga ganitong gray spots….
Wala kang gelplen or boyplen……. SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL? sa unang tingin nakakainggit.. kasi nga may ka holding hands sila.. may natatawagan para mag gudnyt at i love you at kung anong klaseng paglalambing…. pero kung tutuusin… may kanya kanyang advantage at disadvantage ang pagiging single. One of the disadvantages nga eh ung nabanggit earlier in this paragraph. Ang advantage? You can take care of yourself, or pag nag-aaral ka pa eh you can concentrate on your thesis… or masusunod mo na lahat ng luho mo, damit, kotse, etc. Magagawa mo rin ang di mo magagawa pag meron kayong ka relasyon, tama ba ako? So dont tell me na hindi ka masaya dahil lang sa wala kang gf/bf…. ang dami pang single jan, and karamihan sa kanila eh masaya din sa buhay nila… believe me. Pero we should also take into consideration na masarap din ang feeling ng naaalagaan.. at minamahal diba? Well… that’s were appreciating what your friends do to you comes into play. Friends or peers will always be there.. ung mga ka barkada mong iniwan mo sa ere para lang dumamubs sa yong girl eh babalik at babalikan mo rin bandang huli…. although hindi talaga healty na sabihing ” Haaay sakit lang sa ulo yang mga lalaki” or “Gastos lang ang alam ng mga babaeng yan”…. we should be fair…. ganun talaga… some will win.. some will lose. There’s no point getting lost in ur life… nakagawa man sila ng mali… sila na ang bahala dun.. they only gave you the opportunity to react… but not the specific reaction. Kung nasaktan man tayo, hindi na nila problema yun,problema na natin yun. Pag ikaw ba eh nagmukmok sa isang sulok dahil sa ginawa nya eh iiyak ba siya? Hindi. Sa huli ikaw ang kawawa.
After a break up….. act and look better. Sa unang rinig eh parang ang hangin ng dating… but the fact is… kailangan mo talaga gawin to. Why? Imagine you just had a break up with your gf or bf.. tapos magpapaka awa effect ka to her… papasuin mo ang sarili mo ng yosi or maglalasing every night or magpupuyat hanggat sa magkaron ka na ng eye bags… tapos bigla ka nakita ng ex mo… ano na lang ang sasabihn ng ex mo? Kung balikan ka nun eh wag ka na rin matuwa kasi for sure malaki ang probablity nun eh naawa lang cya sayo. Stand tall and proud. Hello?!?!??! Sino ba cya? As if mamamatay ka pag nawala cya, oo mahal mo cya…. pero kailangan naman mahalin mo rin ang saril mo, a man who can’t love himself cannot trully love others.. look better not in a way na makakabingwit ka uli ng mga guys pero in a way na hindi ka tlga magmukhang talunan. And besides, pag nagkita kayo, make him/her tell to him/her self… ” Gosh!! Yan ba ung iniwanan ko? How can I let her slip away from me?” O diba? Kasi kung mukha ka na talaga losyang o dugyot after your break up eh baka lalo lang niya naisip na tama ang naging break up niyo. Explore your world….. kahit mahal natin ang isang tao… we can’t away from the fact na kailangan nating maging exposed… diba? It’s like a butterfly in a bottle of mayonnaise.. di makawala… di makita ng ibang tao ang kanyang kakayahan at kagandahan…. and even worse baka mamatay pa yun,d b? Sa mga probs na ganyan… alcohols and cigarettes don’t work. Harapin mo na agad ang reality na nangyayari ang mga ganung bagay na hindi natin gusto. Pagsubok lang yan… hindi pa yan kamatayan. Funny coz lagi na lang sinasabi satin na The Lord God won’t give us problems na hndi natin masosolve… pero still parang nagbibingi-bingian pa rin tayo…. natatakot pa rin tayo…
Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off your goal. Ano ba talaga ang goal mo? Ang magmahal o magkaron ng gf/bf? If you chose the latter, hindi ka tlga magiging happy…. Stop looking for love.. Start being lovable. Open your heart to pains.. coz with pain comes happiness…. happiness na hindi kaagad nahahanap.. coz it slowly integrates from those little things that you do for love. Wear a smiling face always…. but don’t smile alone… baliw ang tawag dun. What I mean is people tend to get close to those whom they know na masaya and maganda ang mindset. Stop talking and thinking about failures and pains…. coz what you think would most likely attract you.
But as always, its easier said than done…. tulad ko… ang dali kong sabihin to kasi I’m not in a not-so-nice situation.. pero natutunan ko tong mga to from my experience na rin eh… hindi naman talaga madali… pero hindi rin talaga mahirap. It’s all in the mind and the heart. Kahit ano pang gawin sayo ng pag ibig….. always open your heart…. dapat laging alive…. because you cannot love with a dead heart. Don’t ever tell yourself na ikaw ang pinakakawawang nilalang sa pag-ibig…. pano na lang ang mga taong namatayan…. mas masakit un diba? Nagkataon lang talaga na iba iba tayo ng problema….
Once again, its all in the mind and the heart… nothing else.